Welcome to the Mind of Everyn Kildare:

September 2019 Ambitions and Updates:

This month kicked off with a BANG! with the publication of I.N.N. and the continuation of last month's Patreon success. I am determined to be more consistent, and have been pushing hard through migraines and whatnot to keep on track with the new "plan".

I am, but slowly, trying to rebuild.

I feel like each Patreon project and the ensuing monthly publications has become akin to laying a brand new foundation, one brick at a time, in the giant hole I'd dug myself into over the past two years. It is a little hard sometimes to stay motivated when I feel like I'm starting from scratch all over again, in a publishing climate that is even more complicated and overflowing than it was when I began this journey 6+ years ago. It has become even more difficult to get your work noticed and in reader's hands without spending a butt-load on marketing. *sigh* I've tried this in the past with Crow and Rapturous Dawn, and I never really earn out what I spend doing marketing blitzes. Doesn't mean I won't try them again, but I think this time I'll wait until I have placed down a few more bricks to stabilize this newly built foundation, lest it crumble once more beneath the heavy burden of my own personal self-doubt.

On the other hand, I really am enjoying the new format and function of my Patreon. It finally makes sense to me as an extension of my writing journey. It has a purpose, whereas before I wasn't entirely sure what to do with it. I already have a blog, though I don't post as often as I used to, or know what to say when I haven't been writing or publishing for a while, so it didn't make sense to just post the things I already say here. Now that I've figured out what to do with it, the problem becomes how to get more people interested in the project. Marketing again - oh joy!

This month on the Patreon I'm working on something special.

On September 4th 2013, six years ago, I published for the very first time. It was a short story called "Imaginary Self". Everything about that initial publication was a mess - the amateur cover (it was our first!) - the story felt incomplete (I wrote it after issuing myself a "Story-in-a-Week" Challenge) - had rushed editing (like I said, a WEEK) and so I was never really happy with it and pulled it from publication after only a year or two of its release. The project was, however, successful in its overall purpose. The "Story-in-a-Week" Challenge was meant to be a crash course learning experience for the new methods of independent publishing that had only recently opened up to us writers through Amazon's KDP, Smashwords and Barnes & Noble's Nook just a few years prior. Everything was new, experimental and we were all grasping at lightning speed onto any and all new methods of getting our works into reader's hands. I learned a lot that week, and used that knowledge less than a year later when I finally published Crow in May 2014.

But the story itself was left on the wayside, abandoned and unfinished (as far as I was concerned, at least). So, for its 6 year Anniversary, I decided to finally finish and re-release Imaginary Self. I have re-outlined and extended the story as it was originally meant to be written, and have been slogging through re-writes and edits off and on for the past few weeks. I may not have it complete by the end of the month, as I've been feeling increasingly unwell of late, but it is moving along (which is better than sitting forgotten in a drawer, I suppose.) The new cover has already been created. The blurb updated. Things are moving forward, just a little slower than I'd like. What can I say? My body demands I work at its pace, not mine. It is one of the unfortunate facts I've had to accept during my two agonizing years of writer's block. Forcing it makes things worse. When my body says slow-the-fuck-down I need to listen.

On those days I can't write, I've been working on making updates to my website. I've added a bunch of new pages that I'd been wanting to address for a while (like my new GALLERY and WICKED RED SERIALS pages) and have a few more coming in the next few weeks - plus preparing for my yearly Halloween Event next month, which I WILL be doing this year. To be honest, part of me is really looking forward to wrapping up Imaginary Self soon so I can get started on Vicious Kisses for October!

If you'd like to read more about Imaginary Self and the progress of the project thus far, I have a few public posts about it on the Patreon:

Wicked Red Serials Project: September 2019

Imaginary Self Re-Imagined: New Cover Reveal

Thanks for reading!

 husband hijacked my laptop.jpging serio
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